Ment-al

Why it’s it that we write "judgment" instead of "judgement" but we write "arrangement" and not "arrangment".

Erg. Sometimes the english language is so odd. To my 7th grade grade school teacher: I still insist that "judgement" makes more sense.

Pet Peeves: In the Bathroom

I was just reminded of a new list of pet peeves related to bathroom behavior.

  • Typhoid Larry. There are people who just don’t seem to think that they can spread viruses. They must figure they are walking antiseptic or something. You women would be amazed at how many guys don’t wash their hands after handling their junk. I’ve even seen people walk right out the door after dropping the kids off at the pool. Disgusting.
  • Garbage can placement. After Typhoid Larry just smeared his fecal matter all over the door as he was walking out, I’m a little leary of even touching the handle with one finger. It sounds obsessive, but I figure that I’ve got to draw the line somewhere. Anyhow, a good defense against Larry’s lost friends is to use your wet towel to open the door, but unfortunately, many places have the garbage can across the room, well out of throwing distance. Time to use the pinkie instead.
  • Mechanical Automatic Faucets. WTF was the inventor of these things thinking when he came up with this idea: Lets make faucets that don’t stay on for more than a split second unless you hold onto them with one hand. How the heck are you supposed to rinse your hands off??? I suggest anyone who sees these faucets in use anywhere complain to the managers that the faucets encourage unsanitary behavior (Boy I really sound anal now).
  • Toilet Paper Dispensers. I swear, it’s like they are protecting Fort Knox or something. I just want to get some paper to wipe with, but everyone has some idiotic design that makes it a chore to just get even a few sheets.
  • Hand Towel Dispensers. Speaking of protection of valuable paper products, why can’t paper companies refrain from making dispensers that, while innovative-looking, just don’t work. For example, those ones where you pull towels from a small cone-shaped hole at the bottom, or the similar ones with the ackward emergency feed knob on the side. They never seem to let the paper come through without ripping a 3″ piece independent of any perforation. And if they do, they don’t rip at the perforation, and you end up with a 5′ streamer of towel. How about just giving us the regular automatic dispenser (perhaps with a bit more towel dispensed), or just the old pump-to-dispense types. They worked fine, why fix something that’s not broken.
  • Sharing the Wealth. Flush. I really don’t want to see or smell that.
  • Cigarette Butts and Burns. They just look bad. It makes a place look unclean.
  • Driving Pet Peeves

    To start off my new pet peeves section, here’s a collection of my driving pet peeves:

  • Wanderers. Always use your turn signals, even in obvious turning situations. It alerts others around you of your intent, allowing them to anticipate your movements and be better defensive drivers.
  • Opposite Swerving. Don’t swerve left before turning right. And don’t swerve right before turning left. It’s just plain stupid, and unsafe.
  • Tailgating. If if don’t plan to pass me, don’t ride my bumper. It’s unsafe for you and me, holds up traffic behind you, and forces people to make illegal multi-vehicle passes at high speeds. Provide at least 4 seconds of distance between you and I.
  • Copy-cat Speeds. Use your cruise control. If you don’t have cruise control, try to maintain a consistent speed. Varying speed causes wolf packs, which results in the tailgating behavior described above.
  • Slow Drivers in Left Lane(s). When on a multi-lane highway, stay in the slow lane whenever possible. No one should ever have to pass you on the right.
  • Slow Passers. Pass expediently. If you take your time passing, and someone is quickly approaching behind you, you cause wolf packs.
  • Lingerers. Don’t linger in blind spots. Vary your speed temporarily to get out of it. Don’t allow other people to linger in your blind spot either
  • Unhelpful Obstructors. Deter wolf-packing behavior. If someone beside you is passing slowly, either speed up or (preferrably) slow down temporarily to allow a sufficient gap in traffic so that blocked-in drivers can pass the idiot who was lingering beside you. If someone is behind you and refuses to pass, slow down in passing zones until they do. Slow down to extremes if necessary to achieve this goal.
  • Angry Drivers. Don’t flip people off or give people dirty looks. It just makes them do even more idiotic, dangerous, and annoying things to piss you off.
  • Stupid Swerving. When avoiding a moving road hazard, swerve behind the object, not ahead of it. I saw a lady today try to avoid a semi truck that had pulled across our lane of traffic in a yellow light. She inattentively tried to proceed through the intersection, and when she realized that the light was turning red, she swerved in the direction of the truck (in front of it), not away from it (behind it). Idiocy. I think this is why they are telling drivers to not swerve for deer. Because idiots swerve in front of them (toward them) instead of behind them (away from them).
  • Arrogant Merging. When merging with traffic, match the traffic speed and adjust to fill a gap in traffic. DO NOT force other drivers on the highway to move into other lanes.
  • Big Blind Spotters. Adjust side-view mirrors to see further into your blind spot. The rear-view mirror inside your car is for seeing behind you. Don’t duplicate efforts by using the side mirrors for the same purpose. If adjusted properly, you can almost completely eliminate your blind spot.
  • Inattentive Lane Changers. Check your blind spot when merging or changing lanes. Even with properly adjusted mirrors, it’s possible for idiots to sit in your blind spots.
  • Lane Jockeys. In gridlock traffic, stay in your lane. Selfishly changing lanes causes more accidents and makes people tailgate just to keep you from merging.
  • Lane Procrastinators. In gridlock traffic, find your lane early. Don’t wait until the last minute to change lanes just to catch your exit.

    Ok. I’m done. More later maybe, as I think of them.