Pet Peeves: In the Bathroom

I was just reminded of a new list of pet peeves related to bathroom behavior.

  • Typhoid Larry. There are people who just don’t seem to think that they can spread viruses. They must figure they are walking antiseptic or something. You women would be amazed at how many guys don’t wash their hands after handling their junk. I’ve even seen people walk right out the door after dropping the kids off at the pool. Disgusting.
  • Garbage can placement. After Typhoid Larry just smeared his fecal matter all over the door as he was walking out, I’m a little leary of even touching the handle with one finger. It sounds obsessive, but I figure that I’ve got to draw the line somewhere. Anyhow, a good defense against Larry’s lost friends is to use your wet towel to open the door, but unfortunately, many places have the garbage can across the room, well out of throwing distance. Time to use the pinkie instead.
  • Mechanical Automatic Faucets. WTF was the inventor of these things thinking when he came up with this idea: Lets make faucets that don’t stay on for more than a split second unless you hold onto them with one hand. How the heck are you supposed to rinse your hands off??? I suggest anyone who sees these faucets in use anywhere complain to the managers that the faucets encourage unsanitary behavior (Boy I really sound anal now).
  • Toilet Paper Dispensers. I swear, it’s like they are protecting Fort Knox or something. I just want to get some paper to wipe with, but everyone has some idiotic design that makes it a chore to just get even a few sheets.
  • Hand Towel Dispensers. Speaking of protection of valuable paper products, why can’t paper companies refrain from making dispensers that, while innovative-looking, just don’t work. For example, those ones where you pull towels from a small cone-shaped hole at the bottom, or the similar ones with the ackward emergency feed knob on the side. They never seem to let the paper come through without ripping a 3″ piece independent of any perforation. And if they do, they don’t rip at the perforation, and you end up with a 5′ streamer of towel. How about just giving us the regular automatic dispenser (perhaps with a bit more towel dispensed), or just the old pump-to-dispense types. They worked fine, why fix something that’s not broken.
  • Sharing the Wealth. Flush. I really don’t want to see or smell that.
  • Cigarette Butts and Burns. They just look bad. It makes a place look unclean.